Sunday, December 21, 2014

Old-school is a safer bet for now

We live in a highly hypocritical society. Talking about Sex in the public is considered uncultured and shame while the same is considered holy and tasteful when portrayed through statues of gods in our temples. We talk in length about equal social rights and status for our women in the society yet the term chastity is only pinned to our women. Our youngsters consider it socially inept if one is not open to the idea of love, partying and sex but they strictly want their partners through marriage to be homely, family caring and virgin. I can go on, as there is no end to this list. But all this mean one thing - we are big time hypocrites! We don't live the way we preach. We live old school, fearing to the rules (good or bad) set by our society but still want to look cool and contemporary in front of the same society! Confusing isn't it? It's because we are those four members of the society, who fear for the four members and maintain a false social image. Well .. 'Chaar Log Kya Kahenge?' :)

Currently our country is going through a phase which is more like a person with split personality. On one side are the strong rooted people who still go with the age old thought of religion, faith and culture that binds them and gives them their highly respectable social rank in the society. The other side is the young India that wants to feel liberated from all these unproven social formulas.

Thanks to the economic development that our country has seen in the last couple of decades, many youngsters are forced to come out of their family circle very young, for the sake of career. Many leave their family to lead an individual life as early as their end of teens. Education and jobs take them to a totally different culture, forcibly mixes them with people of different social mentalities. With quick money coming from their highly paid jobs, many are even economically liberated to pursue their own thoughts. In all these, the only thing that is considered important to them is 'going with the trend' so as not to be labelled as 'old school'. Here is where the clash of ideologies begin. But seemingly so far, more often than not the side that ranks 'faith and culture' on the top seems to win over the side that ranks 'things in-vogue'!
In this current situation, it is too difficult for our confused young India to blindly go with everything they want and turn it on the society as 'acceptable'. It is exactly at this juncture we stand, when we discuss about the topic of 'Pre-Marital Sex'! With the highly accepted and proven current trend of 'marriage-love/like-sex' on one side, young India that wants everything too quick in their life right from job to healthy money to luxurious house and car, is rooting more towards the experimental western idea of quick 'love-sex-marriage' trend and wants our society to accept this trend. As expected there is a clash in mentalities!

As Humans, we have been evolving for centuries. Our our way of living, practices and culture, everything has been changing for good. At each point of time, society analyses the practices they follow and go with what is proving beneficial for them in majority. The same holds good with this topic as well. If we clearly analyze India at this point, we are a society of religion fearing people more than commitment fearing. There is no religion in this country at this point that accepts the idea of experimental 'love-sex-marriage' trend. With this new trend entirely based on the confidence driven by the commitment between the interested parties, it is at a perfect risk of being broken with no support from the society! Also there is no back-up for the party that is at the loose end. This can be tragic to the society as a whole.

Our country was facing a similar dilemma a decade ago - Whether to accept the 'then vogue' trend of love marriage with the widely accepted and proven 'arranged' marriage still in picture. Today more and more people are comfortable with love marriages as they have seen no hit for both the parties. There is 'no irrevocable physical' factor involved and they can safely decide to say 'No' any time before the marriage. It is this flexibility that the society saw as non-damaging. But the same is not true for the currently tending 'Pre-Marital Sex'. There is more lust attached to it than love. There is a 'physical' factor involved and people at the weaker end of it, especially women are at sheer danger if the commitment is broken (for the very fear of society) without records! Society on the whole is not bound to accept such ideologies with its known weaker links and without proper support from law. Though from the side of young India, I will go old-school at this time not to accept this trend for the same reason!

But yes, this is just my take on this topic. Read Poonaam Uppal's take on it with her story scripted in the enchanted land of magic and miracles and discover where the true love is!! :) You can get the book Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart (

PS: This blog post was written as part of IndiBogger topic "YES or NO to Pre-Marital Sex"

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